a past metreater reflects
GUEST POST
By Yvette, Past METREATER
"When you’re struggling with your circumstances and stuck in your head, sometimes what really helps is being surrounded by loving, open, and vulnerable people who are all facing their own challenges."
I was really hesitant about ‘Camp’ METREAT. All the typical spiraling anxieties - what if something happened en route to Mexico? Maybe it would be too much money and ultimately not “worth” it. How much could I transform in three days anyway? Why do I even need to transform? And my biggest fear: what if people don’t like me?
That last question and my related insecurities often drive my apprehension and excuses. Only by talking back to that insecurity and having someone as persistent and reassuring as Lisa convinced me to take the leap of faith.
As I’ve established, I’m a big skeptic. I wondered how much three days of planned activities in Mexico could shift my perspective. I had so much resistance to change (blame it on my Taurus placement), yet, from the moment I arrived, I knew this was a special group and I had something to learn from each person.
When you’re struggling with your circumstances and stuck in your head, sometimes what really helps is being surrounded by loving, open, and vulnerable people who are all facing their own challenges.
Camp METREAT felt akin to that feeling of summer camp when you’re a kid, and the days stretch on with spaciousness, playfulness, and wonder. It brought me back to the giddiness of being a little girl on the first day of camp, sitting around with all your new friends, eating your meals together, and the very rare and ever-elusive way that time changes when you’re living in the moment (and not on your phone continuously refreshing Instagram). I looked up at the sky, noticing the quality of light to ascertain the time of day.
Physically, through the course of the yoga classes, I noticed the tension in my body starting to unspool like when the thin chain of a necklace is in a knot and you lightly pull it away from itself with your fingernails.
I also felt this feeling of unwinding mentally, noticing that the powerful vulnerability of the women around me helped me connect to my own vulnerability.
I surprised myself when I started crying in front of the group, talking about trying to repair a relationship that had been troubling me for years. I didn’t realize how much it had been hurting me or even how much it meant to me to be working towards repair. Afterwards, someone approached me and said, “I think it’s really cool what you were saying, and I can relate.”
I stepped out of my comfort zone, and being affirmed and supported in an authentic way felt really special.
"Isn’t this what life is about? Challenging yourself, pushing yourself in a healthy way, and showing yourself that you can do things you didn’t think you could?"
One of my favorite activities was the temezcal, a ceremony related to cleansing and purifying the body as you move through rounds of placing burning coals in the center of the structure, led by locals who were extremely studied, reassuring, and committed. I was looking back to a text to my friends about the ceremony - “It was really intense. I cried a lot and released a lot… it felt so powerful. I was scared, but then I started to relax.” Isn’t this what life is about? Challenging yourself, pushing yourself in a healthy way, and showing yourself that you can do things you didn’t think you could?
It’s funny to remember how apprehensive and skeptical I was about Camp METREAT. I couldn’t have known how much I would come to love and treasure my memories: watching Tracey blow out the candles of her birthday cake while wearing a flower crown I had made with a new friend, watching everyone express their fierce feminine energy during Lisa’s class, or hearing the flutter of bats above me during the soundbath.
I hope everyone has an opportunity like Camp METREAT. And if you’re hesitant or anxious, take the leap, trust me!
